The Most Powerful thing that can help
It’s great to have a calendar and a planner and a task list and know what you’re doing. But sometimes you don’t need to have a plan. Sometimes you need to sit in the space of not knowing what comes next.
The problem? It feels SUPER comfortable. When I say super uncomfortable I meant it. When was the last time you sat down for twenty to thirty minutes and just allowed yourself to be?? Not looking at your phone or the TV or something that helps you to ignore what is really happening?
I know for me I can spend car journeys daydreaming (when I’m not the one driving lol) and lose myself in visions and big picture thinking.
But bringing that kind of daydreaming and thought wandering into my everyday life? That has definitely been challenging.
We are simply not taught how to be alone with our own minds! We are taught how to be busy and how to get on with the day and how to have productive days. Yet somehow productive days have become defined as being constantly on the go and completing a task list and being efficient. Not bad things to focus on. But sometimes it comes at the cost of allowing yourself mental rest and time to slow down. Sometimes it turns into over planning where you have your entire week mapped out with no blocks for rest or fun. And whilst some seasons of life are like that it doesn’t mean that every single season needs to be full to the limit.
Other times its your mind buffering the difficult stuff. Your mind tells you that you have plenty to be getting on with that there is no time to slow down and reflect on things that didn’t turn out as planned.
The uncomfortable moment when you pause and walk away from screens to just be with your mind…
That is where the good stuff happens, the stuff that change the course of your life and you won’t necessarily feel like it in the middle of it.
The challenge
I’m going to set you a challenge today.
Find a block of time and set a timer for a minimum of 15 minutes to a maximum of 30 minutes. You have time between your nonstop tasks and I promise you what happens next will create a positive ripple effect for the rest of the week. Keep a notepad or journal nearby to write down all thoughts that come up or an audio/voice note recorder. (this can be done during the session or after the session, I will leave that totally up to you, do what feels natural).
In that 15 to 30 minute block I want you to: allow your mind to wander. It can literally think about anything.
What you are NOT allowed to do is look at any screen be it your phone or computer or the TV.
Now if you’ve never done this before it’s going to feel super uncomfortable and your brain will come up with all sorts of reasons to not do this.
Thoughts like these will pop up and feel like concrete facts:
“I don’t have time to be sitting doing nothing” or
“this feels stupid”
“how on earth is this going to help me?
“I’m literally wasting time doing nothing!”.
Your brain will take you to all sorts of mental places to avoid the discomfort of being alone with your thoughts This is absolutely and completely normal which is why when first starting out it is healthy to experiment with a few minutes and gradually challenge yourself up to 30 minutes max.
A lot of things you regret from the past can come up. You might feel sad or annoyed or angry. Allow all the feelings to simply be. Don’t try to guilt yourself into feeling happy or jump to feeling grateful. Allow whatever comes up to simply exist there in your mind. This isn’t a meditation session or a mindfulness session. It’s simply a session in being.
To begin with you might feel that 5 minutes is enough of a challenge and that’s fine. I want you to push yourself with this challenge and see how long you can do this for. Once you get into a habit of taking this time for yourself either weekly or every other week then experiment with up to 30 minutes and see what things come up.
You might find that you decide to block off an afternoon each week that is screen free and reflect on your thoughts.
Conclusion
Either way this experiment it to challenge your brain to be it own advocate away from screens and social media. It helps you to learn to listen to your own voice and it can really help to build a form of inner peace and self-trust. It’s about getting comfortable IN the discomfort of being bored and having nothing to do in that moment.
Sometimes being bored can be the best thing for your mind and soul. The discomfort it brings up is a guide to your blocks and areas where there is space for growth and change. And sometimes being bored is just a break for your mind to stop having to complete tasks and move on.
Try being bored and see what it brings up for you. I’m curious to know how you find it so have a go and come and chat with me over on Instagram. I cant wait to see what comes up for you!